Old Man Potter Calling

Terry Gross, it’s Mr. Potter from “It’s a Wonderful Life”.

Terry, you asked a question to a Bob Sullivan, some drivel-head who wrote a book called “Gotcha Capitalism”, that I would like to clarify for you. You want to know why the government isn’t protecting you consumers? Well I’ll tell you why, Bailey, I mean Terry. You consumers are nothing but a bunch of fools. You’re always crying and complaining, a bunch of chronic complainers, wah, wah, wah. You people are just so stupid that no government would want to protect you. Besides, I own the government, bailey. Terry, you don’t mind if I call you bailey, do you? You remind me of George Bailey, that do-gooder who cared about people. He was so stupid. He would have been better off dead. We would all be better off if he had never been born.

Yes, you remind me of George Bailey and that’s what I find so pathetic about you. You keep asking these trivial questions, just like that idiot George Bailey. So I’m just going to call you bailey from here on out. That’s right, you just keep asking those silly questions you like to ask on your Fresh Air radio show. We’ll see how fresh the air is when they put you in jail, where you belong. Yes, that’s right. You just keep talking to drivel-heads like Bob Sullivan, another bailey-head. All you baileys just keep fighting for those garlic-eaters that you seem so eager to help. What have they ever done for you? Why care about ‘em? They don’t care about you. Nothing personal. Just business, like it’s always been here in America.

Now listen, bailey. You think you can make things better, don’t you? Well, I’m here to tell you that you can try and try and try, and huff and puff just like the big bad wolf did with those little pigs, but it won’t do any good.  It’s useless. You might as well give up now and turn yourself in. Make it easier on yourself. Surrender, bailey, while you have the chance. Oh, you people really make me laugh, isn’t that right boys? hahahahahahahah. Why can’t these baileys figure it out?

Remember, bailey. The corporations and corporate boards own this country. You might think you’re in control, but that’s all just an illusion, like that little angel, Clarence. Every time a bell rings, an angel gets its wings. Hogwash. But you just keep telling yourself that. That’s right. You just keep believing in Clarence and George Bailey. You’re just wasting your time. George Bailey was right about one thing. He said that I’m not selling, I’m buying. Why? Because you’re panicking and I’m not. You people think there’s a government there to protect you. Well, there’s not. There’s the illusion that there’s a government there to protect you. That’s what I love about this country. It’s a country run by us rich banker types. We own it but we make you people think that you own it. Of the people, by the people, for the people. Nothing but hogwash. It’s nothing but Clarence the angel. That’s right. You just keep believing in angels and of the people, by the people, for the people. You just keep telling yourself that. That’s what we like to hear.

Keep up the good work, bailey.